Entry #6: Acceptance

It's all over. There's nothing I can do about that. I can mope around all day and it won't change anything. I can crawl back and beg you but it won't make any difference. You already made your decision. Besides, I promised that I won't bother you anymore. I have to accept the fact the the person my life revolves with is already gone. It sucks though because for the past 6+ years, you're the only person who's consistently there. I only see my friends like once or twice a year. Three times if I'm lucky. Other than that, I'm always alone. Accepting this change would be very hard. I need to surround myself with a lot of people. I can't work or study because the image you keeps flashing back right in front of my eyes. I need to do something physically or someone to talk to constantly. It keeps my mind preoccupied. The nights are the hardest. Especially when I don't fall asleep at once. I can't be idle or everything would rush back. I need to accept that you're already with another man. I watched your video countless times and I looked through your pictures to numb the pain. I read in a blog that I need to get rid of everything that reminded me of you. So I burned everything. I thought I can. The picture I sent was just a pretend burning lol. I did burn one picture though the one where I loved the way your bangs cover a part of your forehead. I think you look great with that haircut. So I burned half of it. I can't push through so I just hid it upstairs away from my sight. After a few days, and tons of praying. I would like to think that I have accepted this fact so I can finally start moving on.