Entry #7: Grateful

Every now and then, things would pop in my head that would make me want to crawl back and beg you to leave him and be with me instead. It would make me think "Screw everyone! You won't know until you try! Don't let another chance get away just because you don't have the courage to ask! You're pretty much fucked now so there's nothing you can do that would bring you down further". In a sense, I'm correct. I've lost a lot of opportunities just because I didn't ask. I lost you because I didn't have the courage to face you after the breakup. This is bad because one, it would never happen because you already said that you are happy now and two, if it did happen, it would be because you pity me and not because you love me. We don't want that. When this happens, I message my friends to help keep me in check. I told them that I need them to talk some sense to me when I start to feel that I want to get back with you again no matter the cost. Luckily, I have three friends who I can talk to. I know they're few but it's better than nothing. I can't keep bothering them though so I started this blog. I'm very thankful for them because even if I ditched them before so that you won't be angry (you hated them), they still came back and helped me through these tough times.